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MissJuliie Membre 50 messages
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Bonjours à tous, je suis en terminale STI2D et aimerais avoir des conseils pour mon oral de bac en anglais car voyez-vous, mes parents ont oublié de me transmettre la fibre anglophone... mdrrrrrr pleasantry.gif

Alors nous avons travailler sur le thème de "Myths and heroes" et j'ai finis ma synthèse mais j'aimerais savoir si il y a des petites (ou grosses) fautes à corriger ou ce qu'il en est. Je vous met ma synthèse juste en dessous.thumbsup.gif

Merci beaucoup de vos futures corrections thumbup.gif

" I'm going to talk about the notion « Mythes and heroes » so, I'd like to give a definition of the heroisme : It's an hero canbe either real or imaginary. He distinguishes himself by his brave acts and noble qualities. As a result, heroes are admired by a large public who follow their exemple them as models. Inrelation to the notion, the subject of my presentation will be the good actions of the celebrities...

Indeed, we go to show in what do the acts of certain celebrities make of them hereos ? And to answer this question, I going to present you 3 concrete examples to illustrate the three parts of my development :first I would speak about Steve Jobs, then about Shakira and finally,about Malala Yousafzai.

Firstly, it's an extract of the biography of Steve Jobs, published in 2012(two thousand and twele), the autor of wich praises all the SteveJob's qualities and emphasizes his good ideas, his intelligence, inparticular, to have to create the first computer in a garage. This text puts forward all the good things that in fact Steve Jobs in thefield of his work. The sucess of it's mark (Apple) made it's popularity. It's death in had a strong impact, Barack Obama sent it's tributes on the social networks as well as several other celebrities.

It's an outstanding career because he started from scratch and rose to the top. Steve Job's is a self-made man, he is perfectionist, innovative, he combined art and technology. He revolutionized the computer world.

Secondly, the studied document is a text adapted by an article of BBC News published on march 6th, 2009. It's said that Shakira is ayoung Colombian friendly and passionately and she financed a school in the province of Choco. Shakira's foundation provides uniforms, equipment and food for 750 pupils, and more, she has inaugurate another school than she built with 4 millions dollars of her pocket.

Shakira's fame has given her the power to help people in her own country and around the world.

Thirdly, this is the speech that held Malala during the delivery of it's Oscar on october 10th, 2014. She announces us her pride to have received this price and from her determination to continue her fight for the education of the children. She wants to become politicking and plans to represent the children who connot make their rights. Malala is a girl who in receipt a bullet in the head while she want to the school because the Talibans refused the school education of the girls. She recovered from this attack and now plans to defend herrights, as well as those of the children in the same case as her. Angelina Jolie held a conference 6 months after to support Malala in his commitment.

Finally, we can deduct from it that if the celebrities become heroes it's part their acts, it's in helper a community of people that we become their idol. At the same time, their popularity increases by the fact that they are generous thus it's acts beneficial that help to the conductor and to the donor. Afterward the celebrities are to consideras hereos and many follow their example. "

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Bonjours à tous, je suis en terminale STI2D et aimerais avoir des conseils pour mon oral de bac en anglais car voyez-vous, mes parents ont oublié de me transmettre la fibre anglophone... mdrrrrrr pleasantry.gif

Alors nous avons travailler sur le thème de "Myths and heroes" et j'ai finis ma synthèse mais j'aimerais savoir si il y a des petites (ou grosses) fautes à corriger ou ce qu'il en est. Je vous met ma synthèse juste en dessous.thumbsup.gif

Merci beaucoup de vos futures corrections thumbup.gif

" I'm going to talk about the subject « Myths and heroes », that's why I would like to give a definition of the heroisme : It's an hero who can be either real or unreal. He distinguishes himself by his braveacts and noble qualities. As a result, heroes are admired by a large public who follow their exemple as models. In relation to the subject, my presentation will be focused on good actions of the celebrities...

First of all, we just want to ask one question : why are celebrities with their acts considered as heroes ? To answer this question, I'm going to present you 3 concrete examples to illustrate the three parts of my development : first I would speak about Steve Jobs, then I will continue with Shakira and I will finish with Malala Yousafzai.

First of all, here is an extract of Steve Jobs' biography, published in 2012 (two thousand and twelve), the autor of which praises all Steve Job's qualities and emphasizes his good ideas, his intelligence, particularly when he created the first computer in a garage. This text puts forward all the good things that in fact Steve Jobs is in the field of his work. The sucess of it's label (Apple) built it's popularity. His death had a strong impact, so that's why Barack Obama sent it's tributes on the social networks as well as several other celebrities.

It's an outstanding career because he started from scratch and rose to the top. Steve Jobs is a self-made man : he is perfectionist, innovative, he combined art and technology. He revolutionized the computer world.

Secondly, this studied document is a text adapted by an article of BBC News, published on march 6th, 2009. It's said that Shakira is a young Colombian friendly and passionately who financed a school in the province of Choco. Shakira's foundation provides uniforms, equipments and food for 750 (seven hundred and fifty) pupils and more. She inaugurated another school she built with 4 millions dollars of her pocket.

Shakira's fame has given the power to help people in her own country and around the world.

Thirdly,this is the speech that held Malala during the delivery of it's Oscaron october 10th, 2014. She announces us her pride to receive this price and her determination to continue her fight for the education of the children. She wants to be politician and plans to represent the children who cannot have their rights. Malala is a girl who received a bullet in the head while she was at school because the Talibans refused the school education of the girls. She recovered from this attack and now plans to defend her rights, as well as those of the children in the same situation. Angelina Jolie held a conference 6 months after to support Malala inhis commitment.

Finally,we can say that if celebrities become heroes it's by their acts. It's a help to a community of people that we become their idol. At the same time, their popularity increases by the fact that they are generous thus it's acts beneficial that help to the conductor and to the donor. Afterward the celebrities are to considered heroes. That's why many persons follow their example."

Aîe Aïe ! Beaucoup de mot à mot, ce qui fait qu'on comprend pas grand chose...

Fais bien attention à cela ! Sache que Goscinny et Uderzo n'ont pas exagéré en faisant parler les Anglais à l'envers, parce que c'est comme ça ! :smile2:

Bon, ce sont mes modifs personnelles...J'ai peut-être zappé des trucs ! ;)

Modifié par brendan12

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MissJuliie Membre 50 messages
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Merci beaucoup pour toutes vos modifications brendan12 !

Ce n'est pas grave, vous m'avez déjà beaucoup corrigé, c'est très gentil thumbsup.gif

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Invité vieilledame
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Avez-vous pensé que lire de l'anglais (des histoires de difficultés croissantes) pouvait vous faire écrire de l'anglais véritable et non du "francais traduit"?

Quand on apprend à jouer d'un instrument de musique, on va en cours une seule fois par semaine. Et puis on travaille, tout seul. A moins de beaucoup de travail personnel régulier, jamais on ne jouera Chopin!

A moins de travail personnel régulier, vous ne serez jamais capable d'écrire en anglais, à moins de déménager et de vivre en Angleterre assez longtemps.

Il vous reste quelques mois pour faire des progrès. A vous de vous y mettre!

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MissJuliie Membre 50 messages
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Merci pour le conseil vieilledame, effectivement c'est le meilleur moyen de progresser. Seulement quand la motivation est au rendez-vous et j'avoue que devant l'étendus du vocabulaire que je dois assimiler, je perds vite espoir... mais je vais essayer de me mettre au boulot, plus sérieusement wink1.gif

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Aime-Vie Membre 4 messages
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Bon courage pour l'anglais !

Je te conseil de regarder des série en anglais sous-titré anglais, il n'y a rien de mieux (a terme)

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Bon courage pour l'anglais !

Je te conseil de regarder des série en anglais sous-titré anglais, il n'y a rien de mieux (a terme)

Ca aide aussi énormement.

En ce qui concerne les lectures, il ne faut pas hésiter à commencer avec des livres très faciles. Même dans les histoires pour tout petits on rencontre des mots nouveaux.

Je vous conseille "Key Words" chez Ladybird. C'est une série de petits livrets destinés à enseigner la lecture de manière globale aux petits anglais. C'est ce que j'utilise pour récupérer "des cas désepérés". Ca vous donne un solide vocabulaire de base avec des phrases sans cesse répétées. Ca finit par rentrer dans le crâne!

Ensuite, il y a " One Two Three and Away" suivi de "Humminbirds". C'est introuvable en librairie, mais on en déniche encore dans les caves des écoles anglaises. C'est le meilleur de ce qui a existé. Quand vous avez fini les livrets, vous pouvez lire "Harry Potter".

Bonne chance

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MissJuliie Membre 50 messages
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Merci à vous,

Vos conseils sont très important pour moi, seulement prendre le temps pour me concentrer sur une lecture anglaise manque dans mon emploi du temps... Je vais tous de même essayer de prendre le temps pour améliorer mon anglais, grâce à vos conseils, merci encore wink1.gif

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