correction d'un texte en anglais


suisse_made Membre 83 messages
Forumeur en herbe‚ 29ans
Posté(e)

bonjour,

je devais écrire un texte en anglais, quelqu'un pourrait il le corriger..

merci a tous

Nuclear energy

The nuclear energy is used by some industrialized countries. In on hand it has some advantages because it takes a small place and we can do a lot of electricity. With three or four nuclear plant we can subtend a country like Switzerland. Besides the nuclear power is the own power which is efficient and valuable. Because the others solutions aren't possible on long term. Furthermore the scientist are designing new process and improving the present formulas. The chemists and de physicists are searching the solution for the elimination of the nuclear waste. Across us must sure talk about the problems for the local's population, all think about Chernobyl! Nobody can speak about a risk zero, but we must try to ameliorate the atomic energy, because the current knowledge about the chime and the physic are very developed. I am not against or for the nuclear energy but I think that sometimes we spent too money on energies that are not sustainable. The governments must spent a part of these ¿dead projects¿ to help the poor's and abolish the poverty.

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669 Membre 4 033 messages
Forumeur alchimiste‚ 44ans
Posté(e)
bonjour,

je devais écrire un texte en anglais, quelqu'un pourrait il le corriger..

merci a tous

Nuclear energy

The nuclear energy is used by some industrialized countries. In on hand it has some advantages because it takes a small place and we can do a lot of electricity. On one hand, nuclear energy has some advantages. It only needs a small place, and produces a large amount of energy. With three or four nuclear plant we (Three or four nuclear plant would be enough to ) subtend a country like Switzerland. Besides the nuclear power is the own power which is efficient and valuable. Because the others solutions aren't possible on long term. Furthermore the scientist are designing new process and improving the present formulas. The chemists and de physicists are searching the solution for the elimination of the nuclear waste. Across us must sure talk about the problems for the local's population, all think about Chernobyl! Nobody can speak about a risk zero, but we must try to ameliorate the atomic energy, because the current knowledge about the chime and the physic are very developed. I am not against or for the nuclear energy but I think that sometimes we spent too money on energies that are not sustainable. The governments must spent a part of these "dead projects" to help the poor's and abolish the poverty.

Je me suis arrêté là, parce que tu ne dis même pas "on the other hand"...

Dire d'un côté, necessite de dire "et d'un autre côté", sinon, ca ne veut rien dire...

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Amy_Lee Membre 525 messages
Forumeur forcené‚ 32ans
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bonjour,

je devais écrire un texte en anglais, quelqu'un pourrait il le corriger..

merci a tous

Nuclear energy

The nuclear energy is used by some industrialized countries. In one hand it has some advantages because it takes a small place and we can do a lot of electricity. With three or four nuclear plants we can subtend a country like Switzerland. Besides the nuclear power is the own power which is efficient and valuable. Because the others solutions aren't possible on long term. Furthermore the scientist are designing new process and improving the present formulas. the chemists and the physicists are searching the solution for the elimination of the nuclear waste. Across us must sure talk about the problems for the local's population, all think about Tchernobyl! Nobody can speaks about zero risk, but we must try to ameliorate the atomic energy, because the current knowledge about the chime and the physic are very developed. I am not against or for the nuclear energy but I think that sometimes we spent too money on energies that are not sustainable. The governments must spent a part of these "dead projects" to help the poor's and abolish the poverty.

Il y a des phrases que j'aurais pas tourner comme toi.

Puis au tout début tu nous dis "on the one hand" ce qui veut dire "d'un côté" mais normalement ça devrait être suivi d'un "on the other hand" si mes souvenirs sont bons.lol.

Je me suis arrêté là, parce que tu ne dis même pas "on the other hand"...

Dire d'un côté, necessite de dire "et d'un autre côté", sinon, ca ne veut rien dire...

mdr même réflexion :smile2:

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suisse_made Membre 83 messages
Forumeur en herbe‚ 29ans
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je vous remercie pour votre aide. ;)

vous êtes trop sympa. :smile2:

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cremeanglaise Membre 64 messages
Forumeur en herbe‚ 28ans
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bonjour,

je devais écrire un texte en anglais, quelqu'un pourrait il le corriger..

merci a tous

Nuclear energy

The Nuclear energy is used by some industrialized countries. In on On the one hand, it has some advantages, because it takes a small place and we can do a lot of electricity it takes up little room and makes us a large amount of electricity. With three or four nuclear power plants, we could subtend (no such word) support a country like Switzerland. Besides, the nuclear power is the own only power which is efficient and valuable. Because the other solutions aren't possible in the long term. Furthermore, scientists are designing new process and improving the present formulas. The chemists and de physicists are searching the solution for the elimination of the nuclear waste. Across us must sure talk about the problems for the local's population, all think about Chernobyl! Nobody can speak about a risk zero, but we must try to ameliorate the atomic energy, because the current knowledge about the chime and the physic are very developed. I am not against or for the nuclear energy but I think that sometimes we spent too money on energies that are not sustainable. The governments must spent a part of these "dead projects" to help the poor's and abolish the poverty.

Thats not all of it, I shall finish it tomorrow. You dont need to add 'the' all the time, becasue we dont do that in english, like in french. Bon courage!Dont give it in yet, there are too many errors!

Modifié par cremeanglaise

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Tomski Membre 79 messages
Forumeur en herbe‚ 25ans
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Bonjour!

Votre anglais n'est pas mauvais mais j'ai anglicisé le texte. Bon effort!

The Nuclear energy is used by some industrialized countries. In On the one hand it has some advantages because it only takes up a small place amount of room but we can do produces a lot of electricity. With Three or four nuclear power plants we can subtend could power a country like the size of Switzerland. Besides, the nuclear power is the own only power which that is efficient and valuable because the others solutions aren't possible on viable in the long term run. Furthermore, the scientists are designing new processes and improving the present formulae. The Chemists and de physicists are searching the for a solution for the to the problem of elimination of the nuclear waste. (Across us We all must sure talk about the problems for the nuclear energy may cause in local's population areas,)* we all think about must remember Chernobyl! Nobody can speak about a risk say there is zero risk, but we must try to ameliorate the atomic energy because the current knowledge about the chime of chemistry and the physics are is very developed. I am not against or for (for or against would be better) the nuclear energy but I think that sometimes we spend too much money on energies that are not sustainable unsustainable energy. TheGovernments must spend a part of the funding for these "dead projects" to help the poor's and to abolish the poverty.

(*Je ne suis pas sûr de ce que vous voulez dire)

Modifié par Tomski

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cremeanglaise Membre 64 messages
Forumeur en herbe‚ 28ans
Posté(e)
bonjour,

je devais écrire un texte en anglais, quelqu'un pourrait il le corriger..

merci a tous

Nuclear energy

The Nuclear energy is used by some industrialized countries. On the one hand, it has some advantages, because it takes up little room and produces a lot of electricity for us. With three or four nuclear power plants, we can subtend (n'exist pas en anglais) support a country like Switzerland. Besides, the nuclear power is the only power which is efficient and valuable. Because the other solutions are not possible in the long term. Furthermore, the scientists are designing new processes and improving the present formulae. The Chemists and de physicists are searching for the solution for the elimination of the nuclear waste. Across us * We must evaluate potential problems for the local population and take note of events such as those at Chernobyl! Nobody can talk about a zero risk, but we must try to ameliorate (haha, nice try, but again this is franglais!) improve the atomic energy, because our current knowledge of this science ( ou 'of chemistry and physics') is very developed (do you mean is not?). I am neither for nor against the nuclear energy, but I think that sometimes we spend too much money on energy sources that are not sustainable. The governments must spend some of this money from these "dead projects" to help the poor and abolish the poverty.

* You sentence made no sense in english I'm afaird, so I changed it completely, but I hope its what you meant- Il faut que nous evaluons les problemes potentiels pour la population locale, et prendrons note de les evenements comme cette a Chernobyl.

Last sentence didnt make much sense either so I corrected it a bit!

Other than that its mainly errors with gender and definite artciles- remember there are NO genders in english and we dont always put definite artciles on things- Nuclear Energy has no article (much easier than french ;) )

En general, c'est bien fait. Ton angais peut suel amorelier :smile2:

Bonjour Tomski- C'est bon a voir un autre gen anglais. Nous sommes les especes rares ici :o

OP, I have corrected your version here!

Modifié par cremeanglaise

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Tomski Membre 79 messages
Forumeur en herbe‚ 25ans
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Je suis devenu chercher le mot parce qu'il n'était pas dans mon vocabulaire aussi :smile2:

Modifié par Tomski

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PASDEPARANOIA Membre 27 326 messages
In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni ‚ 44ans
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Pourrais je vous soumettre un texte moi aussi ?

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Tomski Membre 79 messages
Forumeur en herbe‚ 25ans
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Oui, bien sûr :smile2:

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PASDEPARANOIA Membre 27 326 messages
In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni ‚ 44ans
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Cool, car je sui d'une nulité abyssale.

Le thème, car parait il ce n'est pas limpide, c'est une jeune femme californienne rêvant d'être sexy, de chirurgie esthétique.

Elle passe devant une vitrine de magasin, la vitre ce brise et elle se fait charcuter, se réveille ensuite en poupée gonflable de luxe, la version pas gonflable, assez proche des mannequins des vitrines d'ailleurs.

She is walking on the street, invisible.

Mermaid are singing, she's listening

Fashion show case everywhere, are calling her.

Plastic mannequin seems to be real.

In reflect she can read advertising.

He prides himself on giving his facial patients a natural, more youthful look!

She want to be look, as young ladies

She's dreaming, teeny face on glossy paper.

Mermaid melody is still in the air.

Attractive. ¿Pretty dress, no more carless¿.

She's front of the glass, hand and mouth on the surface.

Being like it, perfection in plastic,

Angel face and iron chest make the man stick!

Dream is over. Glass break down.

Scalpel are raining, blood is running.

The girl fall, pale and rigid.

She's sleeping know, waiting for the man.

Wake up babe, here he is.

He ¿s looking you, vicious eyes

Behind the show glass, in the street.

He want a plastic girl, for adult only

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Tomski Membre 79 messages
Forumeur en herbe‚ 25ans
Posté(e)

La poésie est plus difficile à corriger en raison de la licence poétique ;) Mais, voilà...

She is walking on along the street, invisible.

Mermaids are singing, she's listening.

Fashion shows case everywhere are calling her.

Plastic mannequins seems to be real.

[in reflect she can read advertising. --- Je ne suis pas sûr de ce qui vous voulez dire]

He prides himself on giving his facial patients a natural, more youthful look!

She wants to be that look, as the look of young ladies

She's dreaming, teeny face on glossy paper.

The mermaids' melody is still in the air.

Attractive. "Pretty dress, no more longer careless".

She's in front of the glass, hands and mouth on the surface.

Being like it, perfection in plastic,

Angel face and an iron chest makes the man stick! [Qu'est-ce que vous voulez dire de "stick"?]

The dream is over. The glass breaks down.

Scalpels are raining, blood is running.

The girl falls, pale and rigid.

She's sleeping know, waiting for the man.

Wake up babe, here he is.

He 's looking at you, vicious eyes

Behind the show glass, in the street.

He wants a plastic girl, for adults only

Votre problème principal est la conjugaison des verbes (il n'est pas difficile pour le présent de l'indicatif en anglais).

Par example vous avez écrit, "She want" au lieu de "She wants".

Normalement:

I want

You (singular) want

He/She wants

We want

You (plural) want

They want

Bon effort! :smile2:

Modifié par Tomski

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PASDEPARANOIA Membre 27 326 messages
In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni ‚ 44ans
Posté(e)

Mille mercis.

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Tomski Membre 79 messages
Forumeur en herbe‚ 25ans
Posté(e)

De rien :smile2:

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MooNy Membre 1 message
Baby Forumeur‚
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Bonjour, je suis nouveau, j'ai moi aussi un texte en anglais, résumé de mon stage, que je pense bourré de faute et d'incohérence malgré les correction que j'ai pu faire!

Puis je vous soumettre un texte moi aussi ? Il est assez long comparé aux autres ...

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