[anglais] The what if will always haunt

Seriously,

My love,

At this point I could start writing a book about you. Or a diary, it's more like it. 

It feels like I can’t grieve, and, I’m not even sure I want to, because this is one of the last thing I’ve left from you.

This is you I need, I need to talk to you cause I miss you but I know there’s no place left for me. And it’s okay, it was the point, right ?

I really just wish you could know how I feel about you, just so that I can free myself from this huge secret.

For five years I’ve been loving your body and soul, and for two years, I've been loving through your absence. All this time I’ve loved you badly, dangerously, fully, tenderly, but my love for you was never gone, and still, I wake up with it everyday.

For me, our love story isn’t over, more like, it must not die. It might seem like it, but really, it would kill me if all of what we lived together was left behind, and since you deserve the happy ending, you deserve to move on and never look back for to long.

I’ll get to cherish, which is as beautiful yet heartbreaking, than moving on. And everyone does anyway, move on. But I like to believe that I can protect what happened just like the most precious, delicate, delightful, splendid, sweet, pure painting on earth. Every little and huge things that made us, I can protect, I can remember, We won’t disappear, right? In every possible way, I’ll make our love story live for as long as I’ll live, by remembering, everything so that I can remember you. Us. Because H***, you’ll never stop being my love. One and only. And if I have to be the last person on earth to remember our connected young souls, then I will, with a smile, and some tears.

I will love again, it is possible. But you will always be my roots, my family, the body for which my heart could learn how to beat for two if you needed it. 

And most of all, this world is fill with you, because I want it to be. How comme you're so far now? 

If only,

If only,

Someone online said “The what if will always haunts”, talking about people and their first/only love. It couldn't be more relatable.

And I can never talk to you about how I feel. Because it belongs to the past and we have a good relationship now where I still got to see you when you come back in our town, once a year.

It’s terrible because without excepting anything, I want you to know how strongly my love is rooted in my heart. I just want you to know. COMME SI JE POUVAIS T'OUBLIER, COMME SI JE VOULAIS T'OUBLIER.

I. Love. You.