pour les fort en anglais

Bonjour ! J'ai besoin d'aide pour mon anglais , j'ai une expression ecrite a faire , j'ai tout fait , mais comme je suis pas sur du tout d'avoir bon , j'aimerais si sa vous derange pas , que vous verifié si je n'ai pas de fautes ! =)

Le sujets :

Would you be ready to defy your family to leave school earlier than they expected , or to get a different education ? ( 100 mots )

voila ce que j'ai ecrit :

I think that if i would know what I want to do in my life , and if it would be realy important for me , I would can to leave school earlier than my family expected, or to get a different education because i think have the right to chose my life, my futur and what i want to do . It's not to my parents to decide . Everybody may decide what they want study according to they like . But maybe i would be afraid to do the wrong choice if i wouldn't listen my parents . So , i can defy my family , to change my education , but i don't think it would be easy . (103 mots)

voila , merci d'avance... :smile2:

realy : c'est deux "l" => really

to chose : c'est pas to choose ?

Sinon, je suis nulle en anglais. :smile2:

I think that if i would know what I want to do in my life , and if it would be really important for me , I could leave school earlier than my family expected, or to get a different education because i think i can choose my life, my futur and what i want to do . It's not up to my parents to decide . Everybody may decide what they want to study according to what they like . But maybe i would be afraid to do the wrong choice if i wouldn't listen my parents . So , i may defy my family , to change my education , but i don't think it would be easy . (103 mots)

C'est pas trop mal dans l'ensemble. J'ai mis en rouge ce que je corrigerai. La phrase en bleu me dérange un peu. J'aurai plus mis un truc du genre "But i may be too afraid of taking the wrong decision if ever i wouldn't listen to my parents"

Bonsoir,

C'est possible que je loupe des fautes ou même que j'en fasse en te corrigeant mais les plus grosses fautes seront corrigées. :smile2:

Bonjour ! J'ai besoin d'aide pour mon anglais , j'ai une expression écrite à faire , j'ai tout fait , mais comme je suis pas sûre du tout d'avoir bon , j'aimerais si ça vous derange pas , que vous verifiez si je n'ai pas de fautes ! =)

Le sujets :

Would you be ready to defy your family to leave school earlier than they expected , or to get a different education ? ( 100 mots )

voilà ce que j'ai écrit :

(I think that)¹ if i would know knew ² what I want to do in with my life , and if it would be was really important for me , I would leave school earlier than my family expected me to, or to I would get a different education. because As a matter of fact ³, I think to ⁴ have the right to choose my life, my future and what I want to do . It's not up to my parents to decide . Everybody may should ⁵ decide what they he wants to study, according to what they he likes . But maybe I would be afraid to do the wrong choice ⁶ if I wouldn't didn't listen to my parents . So , I can defy my family , to change my education , but I don't think it would be easy . (103 mots)

voila , merci d'avance...

¹: ça n'a pas vraiment d'utilité ici

²: pour le conditionnel, en français, on dit "si je savais... je quitterais...", si + verbe à l'imparfait... verbe au conditionnel ; en anglais c'est presque pareil, if + verbe au prétérit... would + verbe à l'infinitif

³: mieux vaut éviter les phrases trop lourdes ; pour reprendre l'idée de la phrase précédente, on peut utiliser "as a matter of fact", "in fact", "actually"...

⁴: j'ai un doute quant à savoir si "I think to have..." se dit, en tout cas tu peux mettre "I think that I have...", mais "I think have", sûrement pas

⁵: je vois pas trop ce que tu veux dire ici en mettant "may"

⁶: "But maybe I would be afraid to do the wrong choice" me paraît juste mais je mettrais plutôt "However, perhaps I would be afraid not to do the good choice", ça fait plus élaboré

to chose : c'est pas to choose ?

Effectivement, chose existe mais c'est le préterit de to choose. :smile2:

Bonjour ! J'ai besoin d'aide pour mon anglais , j'ai une expression ecrite a faire , j'ai tout fait , mais comme je suis pas sur du tout d'avoir bon , j'aimerais si sa vous derange pas , que vous verifié si je n'ai pas de fautes ! =)

Le sujets :

Would you be ready to defy your family to leave school earlier than they expected , or to get a different education ? ( 100 mots )

voila ce que j'ai ecrit :

I think that if I knew what I wanted to do in my life , and if it really meant a great deal to me , I would leave school earlier than my family expected, or get a different education, because I am of the opinion that I have the right to choose my life, my future and what I want to do . It's not for my parents to decide . Every person should be given the choice to decide what they want study according to their preference . However, if I am being completely honest, I must admit that I would be afraid to make the wrong choice because I did not the take the advice of others, including my parents . So, in conclusion, I can defy my family , in order to change my education , but I don't think it would be easy . (103 mots)

voila , merci d'avance... :smile2:

There we go, completely corrected and made to sound more 'english'. Some of the sentences were a bit too undeveloped, so I added more 'technical' words to them. I think, perhaps, though that it might be good for you to add some examples, even just hypothetical ones in to explain your reasoning, because at the moment, your essay is a little vague! Maybe if you said something like:

To explain further, if for example, I felt that an academic career was not suited to me and I wanted to become a builder, it would be better for me to leave school early to pursue my dream and get hands on experience in the industry, which is something I could not do whilst still at schooo. However, if I left before the Baccaleureate and took a vocational course in brick laying, then I could be employed by a builder and start earning money and getting valuable work experience.

Bon courage! And sorry its over 100 words!

Bonsoir,

C'est possible que je loupe des fautes ou même que j'en fasse en te corrigeant mais les plus grosses fautes seront corrigées.

¹: ça n'a pas vraiment d'utilité ici

²: pour le conditionnel, en français, on dit "si je savais... je quitterais...", si + verbe à l'imparfait... verbe au conditionnel ; en anglais c'est presque pareil, if + verbe au prétérit... would + verbe à l'infinitif

³: mieux vaut éviter les phrases trop lourdes ; pour reprendre l'idée de la phrase précédente, on peut utiliser "as a matter of fact", "in fact", "actually"...

⁴: j'ai un doute quant à savoir si "I think to have..." se dit, en tout cas tu peux mettre "I think that I have...", mais "I think have", sûrement pas

⁵: je vois pas trop ce que tu veux dire ici en mettant "may"

⁶: "But maybe I would be afraid to do the wrong choice" me paraît juste mais je mettrais plutôt "However, perhaps I would be afraid not to do the good choice", ça fait plus élaboré

Also, this post above is great- are you bilingual, poster? To the OP, this is shorter than mine and would also be good to use. Only one mistake left - in english you can not 'do a mistake/choice', you 'make a mistake/ choice' so it would be 'But maybe I would be afraid to make the wrong choice'.

Adidtionally, in English you msut always type I with a capital. I make typos sometimes and put i, but it shoudl really be I, and if you left out the capital in a formal letter/ homework, you would be looked down upon a lot!

Bonne Chance :smile2:

Bonsoir,

C'est possible que je loupe des fautes ou même que j'en fasse en te corrigeant mais les plus grosses fautes seront corrigées.

¹: ça n'a pas vraiment d'utilité ici

²: pour le conditionnel, en français, on dit "si je savais... je quitterais...", si + verbe à l'imparfait... verbe au conditionnel ; en anglais c'est presque pareil, if + verbe au prétérit... would + verbe à l'infinitif

³: mieux vaut éviter les phrases trop lourdes ; pour reprendre l'idée de la phrase précédente, on peut utiliser "as a matter of fact", "in fact", "actually"...

⁴: j'ai un doute quant à savoir si "I think to have..." se dit, en tout cas tu peux mettre "I think that I have...", mais "I think have", sûrement pas

⁵: je vois pas trop ce que tu veux dire ici en mettant "may"

⁶: "But maybe I would be afraid to do the wrong choice" me paraît juste mais je mettrais plutôt "However, perhaps I would be afraid not to do the good choice", ça fait plus élaboré

:smile2:

J'aurais dit exactement la meme chose ^^

Par contre pour la dernière phrase je diras: Maybe I would be afraid to make the wrong choice

A shorter version that means the same is:

In my opinion, I believe that every child should have the right to choose whether they want to leave school early, and that it should not be their parents choice. I think that if I had future career plans that meant a great deal to me, then I would not hesitate to leave school early to pursue my dreams. However, I must admit that I would be afraid in case I make the wrong choice because I did not listen to my parents advice. In conclusion, I would defy my parents, but I do not think it would be easy.

Having said that, 100 words is so little space in which to answer the question- there is soo much more you could say. I think it is mean that the teachers only let you write 100 words. You could get in some good conjoining phrases and point of view expressions such as 'in my opinion', 'personally' 'In conclusion' and 'for example' but you do not have enough room!

Effectivement, chose existe mais c'est le préterit de to choose. :smile2:

C'est bien ce que je pensais. J'ai quelques souvenirs de lycée.

En même temps, je ne vois pas l'intérêt de refaire son devoir à sa place. Son écrit comporte des erreurs ou des éléments qui ne font pas très anglais. Mais de la manière dont Crème Anglaise a refait son devoir, son professeur sentira immédiatement que ça n'est pas de lui.

A la base il demandait une simple correction grammaticale, pas une refonte stylistique de la part de bilingue...

En même temps, je ne vois pas l'intérêt de refaire son devoir à sa place. Son écrit comporte des erreurs ou des éléments qui ne font pas très anglais. Mais de la manière dont Crème Anglaise a refait son devoir, son professeur sentira immédiatement que ça n'est pas de lui.

A la base il demandait une simple correction grammaticale, pas une refonte stylistique de la part de bilingue...

In a way you are right. If the teacher knows this pupil well then they will be surprised at the change in their level of English, however, we do not know how old the poster is, and to be honest, the level of English they have used is so simple, that I would be surprised if the teacher really expected them to use such simple English. In my suggested composition there is a fair amount that would be easy for a French 13 year old to make up. However, there are a few phrases and words that are harder, I admit. Having said that, my posts were only a suggestion on how to develop the argument and the first was a simple grammatical correction as there were many errors!

If the original poster wants to improve their English, I would also suggest using wordreference.com as it has lots of synoyms and lots of phrases!